5 facts of life that friends won’t tell you




There are all kinds of people that you meet everyday. Everybody knows a friend who has great aspirations for their future but doesn’t know one’s needs to take the risk to attain their own future. The mother whose dreams are lived through her children, but the children’s own dreams are unknown. The taxi driver who can tell ‘another great story’, but what lessons do we learn from people. Some people may not even know who they are, yet their age becomes an excuse. An excuse for not even to trying climbing from they box they don’t know they are in.

What qualities does a person need to be successful?

What should a person have to critique about themselves to become successful?

1. Face your demons and fears

I have met a lot of people in my time and encountered conversations where friends, family or work colleagues make the decision to be in confinement. “The ‘prison mentality’ of my issues are too big for you to understand,”they say. Sadly time slips by and after every time you have a conversation with them nothing changes at all. Their own low self worth forces them to believe that their intentions of what they want to do will turn into actuality. I hate to say it. Intentions and actions are two different things but try telling them that.

Let’s cut the nonsense and spit it out right now, you’re state of mind is cyclic…Dream..wish..dream..wish and before you know it they believe in dreams without any action. Face your demons and your fears and value yourself.

2. Value yourself

Another observation I have made from people you encounter solely based on looking at their resume is, they do not value themselves or their skills. They have no issues pleasing others but when asked what pleases them, an awkward pause comes and the third party needs to continue the conversation. People pleaser’s have no drive or ambition and subsequently don’t treat themselves for what achievements they have previously realised. If a young twenty one year graduated from college but did it for the sake of her parents, will she treat herself? She achieved something great but to her, she’s invaluable and tells herself off without treats. It goes without saying that at times our pet dog gets treated better than we treat ourselves. If it sits at the owner’s instruction, a treat as reward is given. What about a young twenty one year old, will she treat herself?

A dog’s obedience is not more important than her achievement. If we don’t treat ourselves, reward ourselves, all we are really saying is “I’m not worth it, and I want to devalue myself willingly.”

Stop it and value the person for who you are and what you will continue to be.

3. Listen to others more than talking

In every social circle people find themselves in, there’s always the one that wears the label of ‘one interest friend’, they can only talk about one subject because it’s the only subject that interests them but no one else. You’re at a club or pub and like an alarm bell, they start talking about their love of Samurai swords as if anyone else cared. They are overwhelmed with excitement but cannot think objectively themselves to listen more than talk. These people are usually single, lack confidence, can’t build networks and don’t possess the quality of thick skin to hear a criticism. After six months of you moving forward in your life, you will meet up with them and surprise surprise after a cappuccino with them, they are once again talking about one sole thing. If people are going to move forward and can’t accept criticism from people who desperately want to share it then they will stagnate for the rest of their life. It’s a cruel world out there where positive praise and encouragement are only found in school or a church. But you can’t live in a classroom or a church building twenty four hours, seven days a week.

4. Small steps are still steps

Any businessmen will tell you they made it from the projects, humble beginnings and kept adjusting to the climate of what they set out to achieve. Still people whether they are migrants, recent university graduates or the forty year old in the pyramid scheme believe they will be multi-billionaires at the end of one week of working. Parents told children freely, you can do anything. It maybe true  but it comes at the cost not so much of hard work but perseverance and willingness to adapt to one’s environment. If a woman catches a cold in winter because she didn’t wear a jumper, is she a failure? No, she simply didn’t adapt to her new environment. Yet when the thirtysomething banker doesn’t meet target, is he a failure? No, he just didn’t take small steps towards his goals. We are taught to dream big and as a result we want to take big steps. Unfortunately life does not work that way. By taking small steps up the ladder to where we ultimately want to be and by moving left and right on the rungs of the ladder with the weather, then we will reach the top. Just try telling that to the couch potato who eats popcorn and thinks he’s a film character because he looks like the actor who plays him.

5. Don’t let time rule you

A married couple may go and seek counselling because neither of them say they have the time to communicate. Do they want to put the effort into their marriage? By attending therapy it shows you they do, right? I’ve seen time be the enemy in so many people’s careers, lives and marriages to the point where it’s not funny. They can’t manage the time they have by creating simple routines from important to not important, urgent to non urgent, that all day they are catching their tail by spending the 1440th minute of the day completing the last task. You wonder why relationships, interests, hobbies go down the wormhole of time. Simply creating a daily routine and a ‘To Do list’ will drive people out of their own bondage of pain but yet.. if they like it and their local doctor says 100% health at your last check up then there’s nothing more to add.

The debrief

Don’t be soft, nor let time rule you. Success cannot be attained alone, you need people around you to act as a mentor.

Keep watching this blog as people’s stories will be shared on just how their own lives, marriages, friendships or careers became uncuffed. 

Success is to be lived out and not dreamed about.


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